Tips for out-of-town wedding guests

Out-of-town weddings are always kinda challenge for guests. So get ready when you get the invitation.

Before You Leave

*Turn it into a mini-vacation. It's a matter of mindset. Instead of asking, "How am I going to do this?" say, "I'm going to have fun." Then get started.
*Plan ahead. Planning can help you make the most of your time. If old friends will be attending the wedding, call them beforehand and make plans to hook up. Make any rental car or other reservations in advance.
*Call ahead for a hotel brochure and a local events calendar. The more you know about your destination, the more time you'll be able to spend enjoying yourself once you get there.
*Send wedding gifts ahead of time. That way, you won't have to lug packages onto the plane with you.
*Make plans to hook up with friends. If old friends will be attending the wedding, call them beforehand and make plans to get together.

On The Plane

*Don't take a night flight before a morning wedding. You'll be exhausted. Also, to make your flight more enjoyable, try to travel with friends who are also going to the wedding. Time will zip by.
*Don't check essentials. You'd hate to show up at the reception in your Ungaro gown and your Reeboks!
*Request an exit row on the plane. Extra legroom means more comfort.
*Don't bring your work. Unless absolutely necessary, don't bring your laptop and files. Instead, enjoy the in-flight movie. Remember, you're on a mini-vacation.

On Location

*Don't live out of your bags. As soon as you arrive at your destination, unpack your bags. You'll feel much more at home if you aren't constantly yanking things out of your suitcase.
* Hit the spa. If the local activities don't appeal to you, make your weekend into a spa-like retreat. Use all the hotel facilities, starting with room service. Many larger hotels offer a massage service, as well as a gym, sauna and pool. Take advantage.
* Take a catnap. If it's an evening wedding, it will give you just the pick-me-up you need for later.
* Live it up. Make up your mind to dance, indulge and have a great time.
* Sleep in. The morning after the wedding, sleep as late as possible, and then order room service.

Plan your trip home so that you arrive in plenty of time to have a good night's sleep. If you head home too late, chances are you'll spend those last precious hours worrying.

Traveling To An Unfamiliar Place
Going somewhere you've never been before? How will you fill the time when you aren't celebrating with the happy couple? Every city has many unique things to offer its visitors -- even the smallest of small towns. Take advantage.

* Do some research online. Conduct a search on the city and state you will be visiting. What is it famous for? There may be a museum, festival, park or other location that you'll want to visit.
* A regional directory is available here at WeddingChannel.com. If you're looking for historic restaurants and hotels to visit during your stay, you may very well find them through our Local Vendors Directory.
* Check with the local Chamber of Commerce. They may be your best source of information on what to do and see.
* Pick up a travel book. There are several outstanding series of city guides, including those by Frommer's, Fodor's, and the Automobile Club of America. If you're an Auto Club member, you'll probably find they have a wealth of free information for you.
* Get a map. You don't want to get lost in a city you don't know well. There are some great websites that specialize in maps, so go online!
* Get a local to show you around. This may be a great chance to meet up with an old friend who's local. Just offer to return the favor when they visit your city.
* Ask the bride and groom. They probably have personal recommendations about activities and things to do in the area. If they've created an Out-Of-Town Guest Information page, you may find suggestions there. (If they don't have one, email the couple now and invite them to create their personal wedding web page -- it's free and fun!)
* Check out the local newspaper. When you arrive at your destination, this is a great way to find out about events.
* Ask the concierge. If you've forgotten to make plans in advance, don't worry -- they can help with recommendations.
* Offer to help the wedding couple and their families. If you don't feel like sightseeing, they are sure to appreciate any assistance. This is also a nice way for you to spend extra time with the people you've traveled so far to see.
Remember, the few days before the wedding are the busiest time for the bride and groom. This is not the time to ask them to play chauffeur or tour guide. One of the best gifts you can give the couple is to take responsibility for entertaining yourself during your stay.

Feel better? You have everything you need to help make a weekend wedding fun and fruitful. Have a blast!

Asking Her Father - Engagement

The time has come. You've thought about it and thought about it. And talked about it. And thought about it some more. You know her like you've never known anyone else. You love her like you've never loved anyone else and you can't imagine spending a week without her, let alone the rest of your life. It's time to ask for her hand in marriage.

Now, there was a time -- only a few generations ago -- when the next step was clear-cut and simple: you paid a visit to her father and asked him for her hand. Back then, marriage was more a matter of class, status, dowries and other financial arrangements, and love was given less attention. Whether or not the potential groom could provide for his bride, as determined by the bride's father, weighed heavier on a family's mind than love.

As love became more important to marriage than money, this tradition has continued, although it is not nearly as common as it once was, at least in middle-class America. Today, when a man asks his girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage, he does so more out of respect than anything else. Generally, both the father and his daughter's boyfriend are aware that, approval or no approval, if they truly want to be married, there's little to stop them. The father's approval is almost expected. After all, guys are pretty smart sometimes, and they usually know where they stand with their girlfriend's father; if they don't get along with her father, there's little chance they'll even ask.

But even when approval is expected, there's still something nerve-wracking about the process -- there's always the chance her father doesn't realize how serious their relationship is, or that he'll be caught off-guard. And sometimes fathers are just naturally intimidating. Troy, a project manager for a computer product company in Utah, had dated his girlfriend, Tania, for over four years; he got along fine with Tania's father, who is from Yugoslavia and is very Old World and traditional. But Troy admits to feeling too intimidated to ask him for Tania's hand, even though Troy knew both Tania and her parents hoped that he would ask; the fact that her father is an enthusiastic hunter and keeps the heads of various deer and elk mounted on his wall may have contributed to this intimidation.

Sometimes it's difficult to know exactly which father to ask: the birth father or the stepfather. Dave, a manager at a consulting firm in San Diego, dated his girlfriend, Cory, for over six years before he was ready for marriage. Cory's parents were divorced and both remarried; Dave decided to speak to her natural father first, though Cory had spent more years with her stepfather. She had a good relationship with both men, and Dave thought, since both had been fathers to her through the years, the blood relationship a birth father has commanded special respect. Plus, he had been given Cory's mother's first engagement ring diamond a few months prior to use for Cory's ring, so her stepfather at least had an inkling of the impending engagement.

Of course, there's no reason you need to ask her father first; sometimes asking him after the fact is enough to show proper respect to her family. Matt, an electrical engineer in Tucson, had dated his girlfriend, Rebecca, for four years before asking her to marry him. She, of course, gladly agreed. But when her parents visited over Christmas vacation, Matt realized he had never officially received Rebecca's father's permission to marry her. Matt took him aside, poured a couple of whiskeys (to calm both their nerves), told him how much his daughter meant to him and how they could enrich each other's lives, and asked for his blessing. Although her father had met Matt only a couple of times before, the blessing was promptly given, and Matt and Rebecca have now been married for almost two years.

Of course, a father's acquiescence is by no means guaranteed, no matter how well the aspiring groom gets along with him. One young man of 19 asked his girlfriend's father for her hand (she was the same age) and the father immediately denied his request, arguing that they were far too young. The couple ignored her father's wishes and got married anyway. Sometimes, such an obstacle can be a test of love; will you let anyone stand in your way? It's wise to have considered every scenario and know what your response will be.

The decision whether to ask your girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage depends more on the kind of relationship you have -- or want to have -- with her father. After all, he's soon to become your father-in-law, and good relations will make everyone's future happier. It's a show of respect; imagine yourself with a daughter, and how you would feel if her boyfriend asked you for her hand. Chances are, you'd appreciate the gesture and accept it as a show of friendship. While any father would be happy to have his daughter marrying someone who'll treat her well and provide for her and love her beyond measure, there's a respect you gain from him nonetheless, just by showing him a similar respect. And any relationship built on mutual respect has a strong foundation to build a new life upon.